People saved from selves by friendly Government

I’ve written about the Rudd Government raising excise on pre-mixed drinks to, ahem, “curb the binge drinking epidemic”.

Well, it’s official:

The cost of pre-mixed drinks will jump by about $1 a bottle from today after a dramatic move by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to curb binge drinking.

The Rudd Government doubled the tax on ready-to-drink alcoholic beverages from midnight last night.

It’s only around a dollar per bottle and that it’s for the greater good, I hear you say. Perhaps, although this is just the beginning and it’s sure as hell a slippery slope from here. The mind police are back.

Drinks targeted included Bacardi Breezers, rum and coke, Vodka Cruisers and UDLs. Some are equivalent to three standard drinks.

I’ve never come across a pre-mixed drink that contains three standard drinks. The closest I’ve come is along the lines of the Smirnoff Black Label pre-mixed vodka drinks, which have around 7% alcohol and are around 1.9 standard drinks. Also, the fact that these Limited News journalists cannot name a single pre-mixed drink that contains such a high level of alcohol only fuels my curiosity.

The Government could raise $2 billion from the tax hike, which will be put into a preventative health program.

Sure it will. In the same way that my fuel excise and car registration fees are funding road improvements.

I suppose the raising of taxes on pre-mixed drinks — in the grand scheme of things — isn’t so much of a big deal. However, the reason this particular issue irks me as much as it does is actually because of the bigger picture.

I fear that we are living in a time where people are becoming too comfortably reliant on the Government. Whenever a societal issue presents itself, people turn to the Government to see how they should deem, feel or even behave. It seems that just about any conversation that takes place to do with an issue requires Government intervention, and these conversation almost always contain the passionate phrase “something must be done!“

How this fits in with the seemingly common attitude of political apathy and general distrust of politicians I’m not quite sure. But ask any punter about any issue facing society these days and you will almost certainly have a response that contains the words “the Government should…”

This in itself, while innocent, is in my opinion dangerous. First of all, it completely ignores the capability of freedom of thought that we (supposedly) value so dearly in Western society. Secondly, and most importantly, it gives the Government of the day a reason to patrol our thoughts and decide how we as a people behave — which is where the issue of raising taxes on pre-mixed drinks comes in.

Of course, I will stop there because I don’t think it’s necessary to go over old ground. However in light of Kevin Rudd claiming a mandate to legislate for the greater good of this country, I will make a smattering of suggestions that will invariably result in a better behaved, safer, healthier and above all more efficient society:

* Severely restrict or ban all mind-altering substances. This includes alcohol and strong pain medication.

* In line with the aforementioned substance ban, all night spots must:
A) Keep music volumes down to an acceptable level, which will be defined as being less than what could potentially cause hearing damage if there was prolonged exposure; and
B) Close at or before 10pm to ensure patrons are home at a reasonable hour, which will be defined as before or at midnight.

* A new branch of the Police will be created in each State (and administered by the respective State Government) known as the “Citizens Protection Force” will patrol city streets, and as the name suggests, protect citizens from socially undesirable behaviour. Citizens found on the streets after midnight will be escorted either to the nearest Police Watchhouse or their home (whichever is closest) to prevent them becoming victims of socially undesirable behaviour.

* All food outlets must not sell any food items whatsoever that has a fat content of 25 grams or higher.

* Film, television and video/computer game classifications shall be moved to a 3-tier system. The MA15+, R18+ and, in the ACT and Northern Territory, X18+ classifications will be abolished. Any television show, film or video/computer game that exceeds the M15+ classification shall not be granted classification in Australia in order to provide a more well-rounded entertainment experience for children and families.

* All film, television and video/computer games sold, shown or broadcast in Australia must meet new “sensitivity guidelines”, as enforced by the Office of Film and Literature Classification. This is to prevent the spread of cancerous hate speech, racism, discrimination and other forms of social insensitivity that are difficult to enforce under the current classification system.

* There will be one centrally-designed curriculum for all primary, secondary and tertiary institutions. This will promote efficiency, assist in teaching standards and also ensure Australia is among the smartest of the developed nations.

These are only a few suggestions for Rudd’s Australia, and they may come in handy given that these suggestions are more detailed than anything that came out of the 2020 Summit last weekend.

I for one am glad that Kevin Rudd and his Social Crusaders are up to the task of fixing all our societal woes. Damn people can’t be trusted with anything.